{"title":"Safe For Most Rooms","description":"\u003cp\u003eLevels 1 and 2. Wearable more or less anywhere. This is where every ad points.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"ibuprofen","title":"IBUPROFEN","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe cat has taken all it can.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA very large, very tired cat. The word ibuprofen. No further context is provided or available.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the one you can wear anywhere, which is a strange thing to say about a shirt with a 900-pixel headache on it. Washed black, oversized print, soft grey blowout at the edges — it reads as a band tee from a band that doesn't exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eWhy it's an actual shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eHeavy cotton. The washed black is garment-dyed and arrives already faded and broken in; the black is flat and solid. Boxy cut with dropped shoulders, ribbed collar, double-needle hems. Preshrunk — your L stays an L.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eSizing\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes run small and the cut is boxy, so most people should take one size up - if you normally wear an M, take the L. Your usual size gives a regular fit. Two up and your mother asks what happened. Exact measurements are in the chart below, in inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements, laid flat, in inches. Width is armpit to armpit, so chest is roughly double it. 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Use the chart above rather than one you saw on another product.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis shirt is Level 1 - Weird.\u003c\/strong\u003e Safe at work, safe at lunch, safe in front of your girlfriend's mother. The only person it makes uncomfortable is you, slightly, every time you catch it in a mirror.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree US shipping over $50. 14-day returns, unworn.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Poor Judgment Co.","offers":[{"title":"Washed Black \/ S","offer_id":54673478156629,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-S","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ M","offer_id":54673478189397,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-M","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ L","offer_id":54673478222165,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-L","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ XL","offer_id":54673478254933,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54673478287701,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-2XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54673478320469,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-3XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54673478353237,"sku":"PJ-001-WASH-4XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54673478386005,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-S","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54673478418773,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-M","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54673478451541,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-L","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54673478484309,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54673478517077,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-2XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54673478549845,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-3XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54673478582613,"sku":"PJ-001-BLAC-4XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1071\/5791\/3941\/files\/pj-001-01-flat-lay-hero.jpg?v=1786923426"},{"product_id":"cat-mafia","title":"CAT MAFIA","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEveryone in this photograph is aware of what they did.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSix cats. 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Use the chart above rather than one you saw on another product.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis shirt is Level 1 - Weird.\u003c\/strong\u003e You can wear this literally anywhere. This is the one you would wear to your sister's thing, which we have decided to take as a compliment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree US shipping over $50. 14-day returns, unworn.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Poor Judgment Co.","offers":[{"title":"Washed Black \/ S","offer_id":54662396805461,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-S","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ M","offer_id":54662396838229,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-M","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ L","offer_id":54662396870997,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-L","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ XL","offer_id":54662396903765,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54662396936533,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-2XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54662396969301,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-3XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Washed Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54662397002069,"sku":"PJ-002-WASH-4XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54673479172437,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-S","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54673479205205,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-M","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54673479237973,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-L","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54673479270741,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54673479303509,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-2XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54673479336277,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-3XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54673479369045,"sku":"PJ-002-BLAC-4XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1071\/5791\/3941\/files\/pj-002-01-flat-lay-hero.jpg?v=1786923534"},{"product_id":"i-refuse-to-tolerate-gluten","title":"I REFUSE TO TOLERATE GLUTEN","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFinally. 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Use the chart above rather than one you saw on another product.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis shirt is Level 1 - Weird.\u003c\/strong\u003e Safe at work. 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No standards were published. The certification stands.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eWhy it's an actual shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eHeavy cotton, boxy cut, dropped shoulders, ribbed collar. Screen printed. Preshrunk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eSizing\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes run small and the cut is boxy, so most people should take one size up - if you normally wear an M, take the L. Your usual size gives a regular fit. Two up and your mother asks what happened. Exact measurements are in the chart below, in inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements, laid flat, in inches. Width is armpit to armpit, so chest is roughly double it. 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Use the chart above rather than one you saw on another product.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis shirt is Level 2 - Questionable.\u003c\/strong\u003e Read from across a room it's a cat. 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