{"product_id":"gods-drunkest-driver","title":"GOD'S DRUNKEST DRIVER","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHe gives his toughest roads to his least qualified motorists.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eChrome and flame lettering stacked in three tiers, a blue muscle car, and a wall of blue fire behind it. Airbrushed like the side of a van that has definitely been in something.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMost funny shirts are a joke printed on an apology for a garment. Thin enough to read a newspaper through, shrinks a size in one wash, print cracking by the second wear. We started with the blank and put something stupid on it second.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eWhy it's an actual shirt\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eHeavy cotton. Boxy cut, dropped shoulders, ribbed collar, double-needle hems. Screen printed — the joke should die before the print does. Preshrunk: your L stays an L.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eSizing\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eSizes run small and the cut is boxy, so most people should take one size up - if you normally wear an M, take the L. Your usual size gives a regular fit. Two up and your mother asks what happened. Exact measurements are in the chart below, in inches.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eMeasurements\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eGarment measurements, laid flat, in inches. Width is armpit to armpit, so chest is roughly double it. Tolerance ±0.5 in.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eS\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e19.68\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.16\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e41.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.95\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eXL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e44.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.05\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e23.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e4XL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e51.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e25.59\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eOur shirts do not all come from the same blank. Use the chart above rather than one you saw on another product.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis shirt is Level 4 - Do Not Wear This To Thanksgiving.\u003c\/strong\u003e You already know if this is for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFree US shipping over $50. 14-day returns, unworn.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Poor Judgment Co.","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":54662409650517,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-S","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":54662409683285,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-M","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":54662409716053,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-L","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":54662409748821,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":54662409781589,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-2XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":54662409814357,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-3XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":54662409847125,"sku":"PJ-018-BLAC-4XL","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1071\/5791\/3941\/files\/pj-018-01-flat-lay-hero.jpg?v=1786924772","url":"https:\/\/poorjudgmentco.com\/products\/gods-drunkest-driver","provider":"Poor Judgment Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}